Self-Help is Not a Privilege: It’s a Necessity

Self-Help is Not a Privilege: It’s a Necessity

Aaron Belyea

Self-help is often misunderstood as a privilege reserved for those with the time, resources, and freedom to focus on personal growth. However, this perception is misleading. Self-help is not a privilege; it’s something earned through effort, resilience, and a commitment to bettering oneself. It’s a hard path, but it’s vital for mental well-being and, by extension, for the well-being of those around you.

Why Self-Help is Earned, Not Given
Self-help is about taking responsibility for your own life. It requires you to confront uncomfortable truths about yourself, acknowledge your flaws, and actively work on improving them. This process is not easy—it demands consistent effort, patience, and the willingness to face failure. The idea that self-help is a privilege assumes that it’s something handed to you, but in reality, it’s something you must work for. It’s earned through the daily decisions you make to improve your life despite the challenges you face.

Why is Self-Help So Difficult?
Self-help is challenging because it requires change, and change is inherently complex. It involves breaking old habits, establishing new routines, and sometimes, going against the grain of what is comfortable. Many people fail at self-help because they underestimate how challenging this process can be.

Common excuses include:

  • Lack of Time: "I’m too busy to focus on self-improvement."
  • Fear of Failure: "What if I try and it doesn’t work?"
  • Complacency: "I’m fine the way I am."
  • External Blame: "It’s not my fault, it’s the circumstances."

These excuses are barriers to growth, often rooted in fear, self-doubt, and a lack of motivation. Overcoming them requires a mindset shift, recognizing that self-help is not a luxury but a crucial part of living a fulfilling life.

The Vital Role of Self-Help in Mental Well-Being
Self-help plays a pivotal role in maintaining mental health. By actively engaging in self-help, you’re taking control of your mental state, which reduces anxiety, stress, and depression. It’s about finding balance and creating a life that aligns with your values and goals.

Moreover, mental health positively affects those around you. Your ability to handle stress, mood, and interactions improve, creating a ripple effect that enhances the well-being of your family, friends, and colleagues.

Effective Methods for Self-Help

  1. Mindfulness and Being Present: Stress often stems from worrying about past mistakes or future uncertainties. By practicing mindfulness, you can anchor yourself in the present moment, reducing anxiety. Imagine surfing: when riding a wave, you can’t afford to think about the wipeout you had earlier or the waves coming later—you must focus on the wave beneath your feet. Similarly, being present allows you to navigate life’s challenges more effectively.
  2. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings helps you process them. It’s like travelling to a new destination—each entry is a step toward self-discovery and understanding.
  3. Physical Activity: Exercise is a proven way to boost mental health. Whether running on the beach, swimming in the ocean, or practicing yoga, physical activity releases endorphins that improve your mood and help manage stress.
  4. Setting Realistic Goals: Start with small, achievable goals. Like learning to surf, you don’t tackle the most significant wave on your first try. You start small, build confidence, and gradually take on more critical challenges.
  5. Seeking Support: Self-help doesn’t mean doing everything alone. Seeking guidance from friends, mentors, or therapists can provide new perspectives and keep you motivated.

Being Present: The Key to Reducing Stress
Much of the stress we experience comes from dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. These thoughts take us away from the present moment, the only time we have control over. When you’re truly present, whether while surfing, travelling, or simply walking on the beach, you’re fully engaged in the experience, and stress naturally diminishes. The ocean doesn’t care about your past mistakes or future fears—it simply exists, powerful and present. By aligning with that presence, you find peace.

Final Thoughts: Self-help is not a privilege—it’s a necessity for anyone seeking to live a fulfilled and mentally healthy life. It’s challenging, requiring effort and persistence, but the rewards are profound. Be mindful of what is actually going on around you, set realistic goals, and stay present, you will navigate the waves of life with greater ease and joy. Remember, just like surfing, self-help is a journey, not a destination, and each day you ride the waves, you’re getting more robust, more balanced, and more in tune with the flow of life.

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